You all will probably be laughing or shaking your heads-but my Sister-in -Law is insisting I now need a cell phone. Ha Ha
I will just take over Larry's phone and number but his phone is old and needs an upgrade. So I just bought an older Samsung model so it would just be the yearly charge for the service. If I were to buy there newest model I would need to also pay a monthly fee in addition to the yearly service fee. No thank you. I really have no use for a cell phone as I am home most of the time. Now being alone in the world-sigh-I can see I need a cell phone in the car. I am hoping learning to take photos will be easy too-and hopefully better as well.
I had been buying Larry a Tracfone ever since we bought our retirement woods property back in 1999. Wow that sounds so long ago now. I had insisted he needed to have a cell phone then during the long drive from the Wisconsin-Illinois line down to SW Missouri area. It did come in handy for him.
My sister in law's husband will teach me how to use it when they come down next week. She is helping me find a boat service with a captain to spread the ashes in the lake. I am not putting anything at all in the newspapers for my own safety. and just informing a handful of nearby friends.
I was so grateful that one of my neighbors came down for a long weekend to get their lake home ready for winter. They were so supportive. The 24th was by birthday and she baked up a small cake-sadly she didn't know I needed gluten free for my celiac. That was just so caring of her though.
Early on the 25th Larry had passed. The stress situation was that the hospice nurse on call over the weekend lived 3 hours from me and didn't arrive til almost 1 pm so that would have been difficult if my friends had not come down-they stayed with me til the nurse arrived and the nurse called the funeral home..
Back in the '80's during a 4 month period I lost my little sister to a head on car crash, then both Grandma's soon after, and then an uncle. So I have not gone to funerals since then
My sister in law is already talking that I must move to a condo or something smaller with no steps or hill-No way, I feel very safe here, still rural and there are good neighbors here on this circle road on the lake. Too soon to make any decisions. She is also wanting to talk me into staying with her and her family at her Florida home on the beach. Found out her home there is 10 minutes from my Wisconsin friends rental-where they stay in the winters now. I don't think I am up to that either. Someone told me I need 6 to 8 months to adjust.
Some how my husband's military records can not be found, and for some reason he has never kept a copy of his honorable discharge papers-I have never seen them ever. I was looking into this for the flag and possibly the ceremony as he did a lot in the Viet Nam war. The lady at the funeral home told me there were a lot of records destroyed in a fire years ago.
When my sister in law and her family get down here next week (they have a lake house here too about 30 minutes away)-she will help take the suburban in to trade for a new car for me-looking at the Equinox 2027 So a big week coming up. Perhaps too many changes-but I need a new car before winter.
I am working on relaxing if I can, spinning yarn, reading a book, etc. Today is a little bit better. We had been married for 44 years but had been together for 46 years. When I look back we had a good life together.
Did you get a good view of the full hunter's moon? It was spectacular here out my window over the lake. Hoping the camera on the phone will help me take better photos. Found this photo online-at Lake in the Ozarks Pretty much how it looked out my window.
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Take care Kathy.-Christine cmlk79.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteGood evening thank you
DeleteKathy.. i'm glad you have people... If you don't have to make fast decisions then don't.... rest... you'll figure out whats best for YOU... I would want to stay where you at too... but like you say maybe after 6 months you'll figure you want something different.. Kathy , my friend your gonna be okay... Much love and hugs to you... deb
ReplyDeleteYes I will be ok-takes time to grieve and I have the calming views of the lake and gorgeous sunsets
Deleteand sunrises and moon views smiles
DeleteHi Kathy I am so sorry to hear that your Larry passed away. Having friends are certainly a blessing when we need them. I am glad that your friends and family circled around you. I can also understand your desire to want to stay in your own home. Even though the family is loving and well meaning they say to be careful about making long term decisions the first year after losing a spouse. Perhaps when you feel better you can go and look at the places they are suggesting but don't let yourself be pressured into making a decision. It sounds like they really love you and care about your safety. We had a similar situation with hospice when my father passed away. If it had not been for our friends I don't know what we would have done. Sending love from me and my family; my husband Tony and mother in law Irene. We will keep you in our family prayers. I hope you find moments of rest and calmness in your day ahead!
ReplyDeleteThank you sooo much for your comments-hugs
DeleteDefinitely don't rush into anything Kathy, and don't let your sister-in-law, for all her well meaning intentions, push you into it either. But certainly let her help. You'll know what works for YOU once all the initial time passes. I probably shouldn't write any of this because I am not alone, but I remember going through things with my mother-in-law and then with my mother. So you can take my advice or not, whatever works for you. I'm with you about funerals though. I think it sounds like you have a good plan. And I would want a phone for the car because you just don't know, even with something new. I hope you find peace and the next few months will not be overwhelming. Take care-hugs-Erika
ReplyDeleteThank you Erika, I have learned over the years to stand up for myself, one of the reasons I left home during college years and later as my Mom was extremely controlling-so I recognize that behavior right away now. I agree I do need a phone for the car, I think I will feel safe this winter in my own home and emerse myself in my crafts and reading-and enjoy the views out my lake window Hugs back
DeleteThe lady at the funeral parlor was correct about many military records being lost in a fire. It was in 1973 at the Federal Record Center in metropolitan St. Louis.
ReplyDeleteMost professionals recommend waiting 6 to 12 months before making major, irreversible life decisions after losing a spouse.
Thank you Kathy, that is what I am going to do-no big decision making before then. I didn't realize the fire was in StLouis
DeleteOh dear Kathy I am so very sorry. You must be body and soul exhausted. You were a care giver for a very long time. May you find quiet and peace. But please take the help that you need and want at this time. Decisions will be hard to make for your comfort and safety for the up coming winter but your needs must come first. Your dear husband is now at peace. Sending you my deepest sympathies.
ReplyDeleteCathy
Thank you so much Cathy if you stated this so well hugs I am just taking each as it comes which is a gift in itself
DeleteSo sorry to read about Larry’s passing, Kathy, and how eerie that you had suspected it might be so close to your birthday. It was good to read that you have such well-meaning and caring family and friends who do have good suggestions, taking things slower and not rushing is best as others have suggested. That said, an updated cell phone is a very good idea because you can have it available when you do leave your home. And, getting a newer vehicle is also a very good plan. As far as relocating anywhere, you will know when the time is right should you decide that’s best. Take care of yourself, my friend.
ReplyDeleteDear Kathy I did not realize your birthday was the 24th. I also did not know you are 77 years young. You are such a strong lady and have weathered so much heartache. Am thankful that you do have family who care about you as well as good neighbors and friends. Great wisdom too in not making rash decisions. Have always heard that if possible to stay in your home for at least a year. It gives you time to not hurry about deciding what to do going forward. So glad to read that you are getting a good vehicle for winter...that will be a blessing I am sure. Well take care dear friend. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteDear friend, I am so very sorry for your loss. Take time to heal, and don't hurry and make any decisions that are not urgent. Please take good care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteSending you much love ❤️ and warm hugs 🫂 🤗
Thank you all sooo much for your kind comments hugs
ReplyDeleteKathy, my heart hurts for you. That's many moons together that you shared and I'm sure your house feels very quiet and lonely. I'm grateful you have had good support. Also grateful you have the phone -- just to have it, in case you need it. When I was doing grief group facilitation, one thing they focused on during our training is to make no significant change decisions for a year or so, unless they were plans you were already considering and prepared for. That included legal, jobs, and residence. And since you love your home and feel safe there, don't let anyone force your hand. You will know when you know if it's time to make any changes. I'm so sorry to be so late replying to this. Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you soooo much. agree I am making no decisions at all except for what I need to do-exchanging cars etc.
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